Michael Bay's Whip

Michael Bay has access to the internet. Kill me. Kill me now. I won’t bash Bay as I normally would, because I’ll be honest, I liked Transformers. I wasn’t blown away by the mess they called a third act, but I still enjoyed every second in the theater and the film seemed much more like a starting point for a massive franchise, with the sequel delving into more of the history.

Maybe that’s incorrect as Michael Bay has struck another blow to fan community by bluntly revealing that everything you’ve read is absolutely positively fake. Isn’t the entire purpose of this shtick the production crew is putting on meant to confuse us fans and make us believe it’s true -- then let us walk into the theater genuinely surprised? If Bay keeps denying the rumors that the casting breakdowns and the Constructicon rumors are false, then we’re all going to start wising up. And sooner or later, we’ll find the real casting breakdowns.

Then again, my super duper secret sources have told me Michael Bay is actually a robot. But he wants to keep that a surprise until opening day.